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 It is an overwhelming emotion which I am trying to process in my head to write words here on this space, on blogger. It is a space which led to beginning of so many things. 

I was a teenager back then. Here I am after all this years, with much clarity of the confusions in life which I had in 2009s. 

From what made me grow this is now about to become a space where I am going to talk to my son, Vidhaan. Yes, a father now. From a teenager trying to change the world to a father who wants to talk to his son. 

So many daily things to tell, so many bedtime stories which have been lost, to whatever I can communicate in its raw form. 

This also is now a safe haven because who comes to blogspot anymore? 

My head is all jolted and fingers are stopping midway while writing because overthinking has taken a central space in life which I am fortunately reducing with help of some really good friends. 

Vidhaan, today your dadi was remembering you. Today is the 30th of August, exactly a month from when she last was with you. Hearts are heavy, words and tears aren't coming very easy but with the hope that something better is written in the fate for all of us, will be looking forward for a new day tomorrow and promise to keep coming back here every night before I sleep - to talk with you. 

Tamasha

A fantastic piece of story telling can inspire you, make you happy, encourage you, energize you and evoke many other emotions in you. There is one such emotion which came out for the first time even after loving everything in that story very much. 

I saw Tamasha twice and fell in love with the songs. "Agar Tum Saath Ho" piercing deep inside. What Tamasha did to me was it brought me very close to reality. So near that I couldn't handle that reality. The reason I couldn't was because it was pure truth. Very similar to the scene where Ranbir Kapoor is talking to himself in the mirror. 

It reminded of the film The Perfume. I am not sure why I could connect the inner emotion of that movie with Tamasha but it did. For creating the fragrance he can't let the person live who is giving the fragrance. The creation which leads to ending the life of the source which is the reason of the creation's existence.

The emotion which Tamasha evokes in me is intense.

 It is Intense sadness. 

Something which I can't bear it to live the duality of the reality and parallel reality I am living. Either I have to cross the barriers myself and invent and bring out a person whom I don't know or keep that away because that way - you don't want to hurt people around you. 

All I want to say to myself and Imtiaz Ali is Tamasha, you are so beautiful that I can't have you. 

I have to take this journey somewhere else and I know you will come back to me at some point of time in life when I am ready. 

Bring back to life

Been to Hampi two weeks back. Beauty of ruins being sold to people who want to see new places and it was all good till you are sitting on the top of the base of the palace imagining the grandeur and beauty of the place when it would have been existing once.

After which you go to find the famous cafe called "The Mango Tree" which definitely serves good food but you can't avoid the smell which comes from the open sewage lines created in between all the jumbled up home stays and finally all the trash and water ends up in the Tungbhadra river.

I am more than thankful to Shivya of recommending Uramma Heritage Homes in Anegundi. A small boat ride from Hampi, smallest till date and there you are in a different place. A small, early morning village life, soft and amazing people of Anegundi village who give you all the peace, affection, care and safety you are looking for.
Like Come on, when was the last time when you had your Stay Manager come on a bike to help you find the right road because you are lost and going on a completely wrong direction. Its good to be lost around Anegundi though because its all beautiful landscapes and fresh air.

All in all, thanks to Hampi. I found Anegundi. I could love the boulders and the ruins for a day or two but after that its a little too overwhelming. Anegundi had atleast everything that I was looking for.

The to and fro happened via Bengaluru where my cousins were living. Total software guys. Loved to see them after a real long time. Bengaluru is a city with a different pace. Not very fast. Still active. A lot of traffic jam. Still has the calmness. This city works hard in silence. Not a lot of shor about everything that they are doing. Importantly dint find laziness much and no unnecessary rushing around.

because she wanted a picture where she is pushing the stone on the society for being stupid! 

This is what I miss in Vadodara. I find a lot of laziness in this city. People can work but they don't want too. Lack of speed in Vadodara is not because of any other reasons except for laziness of people. Vadodara has it own pace, I agree. I am not trying to or wanting to compare Vadodara with any other city but the laziness is something that people here really need to improve on. Its a completely different story when it comes to breaking traffic rules and showing arrogance and power over people smaller than theirs individual capacities. Its a different Vadodara I am seeing these days. I hope to not see more of it. I want this city to come back to life. 

The Joy Ride Diaries

Like just another day at Handmade Hope office we were sorting the paper bags when the phone rang. At the other end was, the person calling from BBC World Wide Hindi. The lady on the phone said that they had watched our video of ‘JOYRIDE’ and liked it and would like to ask few questions regarding the event to write about it. She continued and asked me about the Blue bird foundation, Role of the foundation in this event, Role of the foundation in general, how did the idea came up, who initiated etc…

I gave her the brief about how we work and how we encourage the new ideas from the individuals and conduct events for the causes and that is how we got in touch with Sunny, Rahul, Adit and others (People who came to us with the idea of doing this event of ‘Joyride’). She was positive with the response and offered to do a shoot with us and told me they would be sending camera man for it. I agreed and next day the team and a camera man was here, he posed questions to us (Me, Sunny & Rahul) about the event, about ourselves, how we did it, what inspired us, our education background etc.. So with few impromptu questions about us, the video of joyride, shooting at our office and few other places of Vadodara and they left!

After a day, another call from Ms. A, the BBC executive.  She told me they really liked the concept and our video and would like to call us for the gala shoot at Mumbai. It was absolutely overwhelming because the event we had done was kept much low profile by us, except on our facebook pages and blogs, it wasn’t much shared around we believed. But well, God had different plans. It reached to BBC team.

Three days were left for the shoot at Mumbai and once again the call from Ms. A. She broke the news that the shoot they did with us and the questions they asked and the invitation to Mumbai studio was all happening for the show ‘Aaj ki raat hai Zindagi’ for Star Plus and they are planning to feature us for that with none other than Mr. Amitabh Bacchan. It was completely a magical and moment. Oh boy! I couldn’t believe my ears. It was much overwhelming and surreal because it was so unexpected. I never thought the event; Joy Ride would be such a hit.
We were suppose to keep it confidential until the shoot happens, so except family nobody really knew. It was one of the most triumphing moments. We were counting days for MUMBAI and to see Mr. Bacchan in real.

The Balance

“Everything in life is about balance” 

Read it somewhere and I think I took it little too seriously. Sure, life is a balance of holding on and letting go of thoughts and people. We all must have heard it. In certain areas of life, it does make sense too. But sometimes, it’s more bountiful if you pass it on your learning and wisdom and make more people part of the good thoughts and cause.

Till now I felt it was selfish of me to just take it all in and not repay for the lessons I am taught or the help I have received. I tried too hard to balance things in order to show my gratitude towards them. Recently it dawned upon me while questioning myself on whether I am thinking straight or not that may be I need to slow down and not rush to get it all balanced.

Sometimes some people walk into your life, just to teach and that’s the beauty of it- to learn and remember and take it forward and not necessarily give it back to show your gratitude. It’s meant it that way. This sure doesn’t mean am going to be unavailable in real life circumstances to them but that would be my duty to help another person in need and not to repay for wisdom.

 It’s more like an energy now I believe, which can just be transferred from one body to another.   

Karma Points

Being an Indian means being meticulous sometimes.  We are given a big book of etiquette since childhood (At most of our typical Indian homes). And one very common form of expression for showing respect is, touching the feet of our elders to seek blessings. It has been going on since generations in our country. I was taught too.

But opinions and perspectives changed as I grew up. It became more subjective. Over the time I realized, maybe I was too judgmental about the whole concept of touching feet. I guess I always had too many doubts about the person standing in front of me. May be i feared becoming his follower or take negativity in by touching the feet. And I was stuck to my own theories until I met Nipun bhai this year.

He was recently visiting India for some time and I accompanied him in Vadodara and Ahmedabad to meet relatives and friends.

During our visits, the thing which I couldn’t help but notice was him being compulsive about touching feet of every elder we met followed by a hug. And when meeting somebody overly senescent, he would simply bend down, touch feet and he would ask ‘Give me your blessings’. I was surprised by his salutation and curtsy. I so was curious to ask him ‘WHY’.

While driving back home after few meeting at Ahmedabad, I finally asked “Why would you touch feet of people? What’s the logic?” To which he replied – “Simple logic. Everybody has some or the other good quality. And when you touch feet of people elder to you, who have definitely experienced more life than you have, you get energy from them. At the end of the day, it’s all about gaining the good karma points. When you touch the feet, you receive those good vibrations of energy and positivity from them which is definitely worth adding to your karma account. Everybody has the good side of themselves. Don’t have a fix mindset, do not be judgmental about anybody, people elder to have lived more than we have, they’ll always have more to give. And we should be receiving it in whatever form we can. Take as much good as you can and pass it back into the world. Make world a better place. That’s about it. “

After this conversation I tried few times to follow this but was not able to do it. Hesitation still lingered. Finally I started with Jayesh bhai. It was my first time; I bent down and touched his feet. And when I got up, he hugged me and it made me feel very content and blissful.
I believe my perspective has very much change now. Being judgmental and doubting anybody is no longer my dilemma and I have learnt about playing my part in this world i.e. not presume people or their stories.
(nostalgia from a few years back)

after the day was over - 13th August

Wow!
Amazing things happened in the last few days.
Karan and team made a beautiful video of The Joy Ride we celebrated on the Friendship's Day with the children of Bal Gokulam.

Amitabh came down to Vadodara to give a talk at the Swami Vivekananda International Conference. This guy knows how to own the stage and the people after he talks. He is the only person till now, a social worker with whom young people of 20s come to take autographs and click selfies with him.

Canada Update: 

Kruti Di has finally started with a blog about her travels. Globe Trotting with Kruti Rawat should launch soon. 

Another old friend from Canada gave an amazing news today morning that he is going to be a father soon. It will be really fabulous to see him in the role of the father. 

Chetan will be moving to Toronto in two weeks. He is going to be missed around the Santosh bhai chaai place talking nothing about simply nothing important and his stupid "hehehehehehe".

USA Update:
Kshitij has done one of the most insane things in the world which has put the Red Bull quotient of energy in the right place. Whatever it means. I know what I am supposed to do and he knows what the hell he did. 

Purvish is doing good and calls from a number which starts with 011 which makes me wonder if he is in Delhi and has gone underground because of his heroic acts in Vadodara. 

Vadodara Update: 

I have been thinking, talking and wanting to start a film screening club since long now. We are pushing up a little on that side of the story with help of Bansari, Karan, Ankur and Suchitra - hopefully this time it wont be just a blog like the previous one. 

Beautiful synergy being created at Handmade Hope. Jaya and Richa - our interns and Ankur have literally taken up the responsibilities in such a nice way. Thank you Suruchi for dropping by at such a short notice. 

Thank you Kartik bhai for connecting with Darshan Chandan. A very interesting synergy is possible to come out of it by connecting the Night Shelters of Vadodara with the Bhookh Mitao Campaign.

We are doing the volunteer orientation for the new volunteers with Yuva Unstoppable today. All thanks to Amol for offering us the space of J.D. Institute of Fashion and Technology. Join us if you look forward to volunteer. 

Thanks to Saurabh for pushing me unnecessarily with a silent idea of Project ISR which was in the shelf and was forcibily dragged out for all the good reasons. Thanks to Bansari for being around for this one along with the film screenings. 

Thank you Nazish for connecting with this very interesting person, Dipti Bapat from Hyderabad, who is in Vadodara for doing her research on the "Waaghri communities" in Vadodara. For the first time I thought researches can be interesting too. Also Dipti for being instrumental in reconnecting me with Nazish for more surprises which are about to come in next week. 

Really looking forward for the Shai's blog on "love from Kasturba" about her beautiful experiments with the girls of the Kasturba home. ( took a break of around 20 minutes here and made a poster which you can now see below)

photoshoots, collaborations, projects, writings, experiments and more in a next few days. 

signing off, 

rushabh 

after the day was over - 10th August

There were so many things I wanted to write since two days.
Din't happen because some or other responsibilities and reasons which came up and had no reason for I decided to do that instead of not writing.
Writing it here on my little blog would have not changed the world but I would have defnitely felt better about it.

There are questions about things to start and things to end, questions of relationships, the complete idea of the existence of the relationships and the mandatory things which come as a moral responsibility along with it. The silence of goodness and silence of a friction which is going to surface is what defines the two sides of a silence. I like the subtle silence with nothing in it though.

feeling blank.

hopefully next time on I won't wait to write down whatever I feel like writing.

want to write much more on the relationships and impact it has on the growth of an individual.

signing off,
rushabh 

Double Compression Selection Chart

plan the day!

In the Image: Jignasha Pandya.
Plays Devil's advocate in my life. 

Managing a day is an interesting task. Sometimes even checklists dont help. I think its a good practice though, to plan a day. Not the whole week or a month.
To plan the day. That too not before getting up because otherwise I feel I wont be able to sleep.
Once you are up- listing down the things you got to do by the day ends. I feel that keeps the day pumped up and gives a lot of energy to do things at a faster pace and keep oneself active.
The idea is to not over list or underlist but just a little more that you think you can!
I have been trying this since a week now and it has been working really good.
Gurgaon taught me this!